


Ready

by CasualWinchester



Series: Crush [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Big Questions, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Childhood Friends, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Moving In Together, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Protective Magnus Bane, Protective Simon Lewis, Raphael is ready., Romantic Fluff, Surprises, Sweet Magnus, The Next Step - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Worried Simon Lewis, protective, sad raphael, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9832601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualWinchester/pseuds/CasualWinchester
Summary: Raphael is guilty for how he treated his brother in everything but blood, Magnus. He allows his guilt to build until two friends talk him into not being silly, and end up making him realize things about his own relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Endless**

**Raphael:**

I'm receiving several angry and annoyed glares from some old women that are seated near me. The constant tapping noise coming from my fingers frustratingly tapping against the table I am sitting at.

I don't care if it's annoying them. It's the only thing that's keeping my hands busy. It's either this or that I march down to Camille's upper east side apartment so I could tear her tacky hair extensions from her head.

I hate this bitch with almost everything I had in me. The hatred I have for her, matches the amount of love I have for Simon, and for those who know me, they will know how much that is and they would be afraid for Camille.

Every single time I saw her near Magnus when they were dating, I wanted to smack her silly for the way she treated Magnus. She used him and manipulated him because of his loving nature. She saw him as weak and began to use their relationship as a game to amuse herself and her friends.

I don't know how anyone could do that after hearing about what happened in Magnus's past. I mean how could anyone be sick enough to use an emotionally scarred man like that?

Magnus is like my brother. If you took Simon out of the picture, he would be the person I was closest too in the world. No matter how I like to pretend that I didn't care as much as he did, I think I would honestly die if anything happened to him.

The thought that I actually tried to push him away after hearing about what he supposedly did to Alec, is too painful to think about and I need to somehow come up with a way to make it up to him, without making it obvious that I'm trying to tell him that I was sorry.

I can't believe I was so quick to get so angry at him. I had never been that angry with him before, I knew that he was scarred deeply and that he tried to hide it all the time by loving too hard and sometimes a little too much. I shouldn't of jumped to conclusions like that.

But I saw so much of a young and scared Magnus, whenever I look at Alec. I don't know when it happened but at some point Alec became a weak point in my system. Right next to Simon, Magnus, and my mother. It's not even as if I knew him very well. I just knew that he was just as scarred and fragile as Magnus.

So when Alec told me that Magnus had cheated on him, even though he didn't, I just snapped. I was so hurt that Magnus would lower himself to the standards of someone like Camille.   
  
I didn't want to believe that Magnus would hurt someone as fragile as Alec, not when I was sure that they would get married some day. I had never even thought of the possibility that Magnus had enough cruelty in him to actually cheat on someone. It just doesn't make any sense to me, Magnus is too good of a person. I have more of a chance of cheating on someone than he does.

The whole thing with Alec just took me by surprise and shocked me enough that I kind of lost all sense of rational thought, especially after seeing just how upset the whole thing made Alec. I had never seen him look in such a state before, but then again I hadn't really seen him look anything but embarrassed or shy, and on some occasions, when he and Magnus were having a private moment. He looked happy and in love. So in love that I was actually embarrassed to look at them, I felt like I was intruding.

"Raph, darling, if you don't stop that you're going to put holes in the table."

I jump up from the chair slightly when I hear someone's voice in my ear. My startled movement almost makes my drink spill off of the table. I luckily catch it before anything could spill.

I look up to glare at whoever it was that decided to try and scare the living daylights out of me.

The glare falls when I see that it's just Catarina and Ragnor. Judging by the grin on her face, I can tell that Catarina is the one who scared me.

"So tense, my boy. what's on your mind?" Ragnor asks as he busies himself with pulling two chairs over for Catarina and himself. He holds one out for Catarina before sitting down himself, ever the gentleman. He really likes to live up to those English stereotypes, I actually think he enjoys trying to match every single one of them.

"Yes Raph, you do look rather...flustered over something, are you okay?" Catarina asks before reaching over to rest her hand on mine. At first I thought it was a comfort thing but judging my the thankful looks sent to her by the old ladies, it's clear that I had started drumming my fingers again. Ragnor notices the old women who still looks a little annoyed at me, he tips his hat at them in apology.

God, he needs to be stopped sometimes.

"I'm fine." I state even though even I could tell that it didn't sound right.

Both Catarina and Ragnor stare at me, eyebrows raised.

I sigh.

"Fine, okay. It's nothing big, just relationship stuff, I guess." I tell them, beginning to fiddle with the cuffs of my jacket as I do.

Catarina's eyes suddenly widen and her hand flies to her mouth. "Oh no, not you and Simon... but you're so perfect together." She actually looks like she's close to tears.

I go to correct her, but Ragnor butts in, with a much different reaction to Catarina.

"What did the bastard do? tell me and I'll march right down to his office and I'll kick his-"

"Ragnor! No! Simon is perfect... he hasn't done anything to me." I hold up my hands to try and make them focus back on me. "We're still together, in fact he is coming over to the loft tonight." I say.

"Wait... he doesn't live there?" Ragnor asks, now completely calm again.

Catarina laughs at his obvious confusion.

"No, he has a flat in Queens... Rags how do you not know this?" I ask. It seems weird that he wouldn't know this after all the time that I have been dating Simon.

"You could see why he would be confused." Catarina shakes her head fondly at the both of us for a moment, then her eyes go behind us and she smiles. I wonder why at first, but then a waitress comes into view holding a tray with a steaming cup or coffee and a tea, perfectly balanced on top. "Thank you, this is lovely." Catarina thanks the woman before the waitress walks off.

I don't even give her a chance to take one sip of her coffee before I'm asking her questions. "What do you mean by "YOU CAN SEE WHY HE WOULD BE CONFUSED" I mean that makes no sense." I say before reaching over to steal her coffee, taking a large sip before giving it back to her.

She glares at me when I place the cup back in front of her.

"She means that, well. Whenever I'm at the loft, which is admittedly just a tad too often. Simon is either always there or planning on coming there after work." Ragnor answers.

I look over to him to see that in the time that I had concentrated on Catarina, he had already piled 4 packets of sugar into his tea.

"Oh, Ragnor. That is disgusting." Catarina looks down her nose as Ragnor leans over to grab a fifth packet of sugar.

"Never mind the sugar," I hush her, "Simon isn't over that often." I say but admittedly the more I think of it, the more I find it to be true.

When was the last time Simon spent more than one night at his own home? how much money is he spending to travel back and forth from his flat to our loft.

"I can literally see the wheels spinning in your head dear, finally realised have you?" Catarina is grinning wildly.

"God, they've been dating much longer than Magnus and Alec, yet they are already living together... I think it's time you made a move my boy, ask him to move in." Ragnor seems to be done with the sugar now as he flails his hands around as if to make a point of how exciting it would be. "Wouldn't it be so much easier, knowing he will be there without worrying that he will have to go home at some point?"

Okay. Ragnor does makes a good point.

Maybe I should ask Simon to move in with us. We surely have the space. And, it's not like Simon will need his own room like Alec does. He would be with me in my room, in my bed...with me, every night.

I would wake up to him in the morning, it would be amazing to know that he wouldn't have to get up to catch the early subway home just to get a fresh pair of underwear. It would all be right there for him.

He would come home from work and I could spend the whole night with him, without talk of how he would have to leave early in the morning because he needs fresh clothes for work. And I would actually get to have breakfast with him. Usually he would leave before I was fully awake, if he stayed with me until I awoke then he would surely be late for work.

"Who would've thought that Ragnor could actually give good relationship advice." Catarina smirks at me over the rim of her coffee cup as she takes a sip. She knows that what Ragnor said has got through to me. She will be the least surprised if I actually go through with asking him.

"Speaking of relationship's..." Ragnor ignores Catarina. "Who got you into such a bother when we came in? If it wasn't Simon, then who was it?" He asks.

Cat put's her cup down quickly, curiosity shining in her eyes as she remembered the state they first found me in.

I contemplate just leaving, it's not something I want to tell them about. I don't want them to know how I overreacted and how little I appeared to trust Magnus when it came to protecting Alec's heart. I'm ashamed about how I handled it all.

But I know that if I don't talk about it now, then they will just keep coming to me about it and soon enough someone else will find out, and I would rather that if Magnus and Alec did find out, I would be the one to tell them myself.

"Magnus and Alec." I say after a long moment of silence.

Ragnor and Catarina share a look of slight exasperation and a little worry.

"What's happened now?" Cat takes a quick drink." It's not even been a week since the whole thing with Camille. What could've possibly happened to them in that time?"

"Nothing." I answer quickly.

Ragnor looks at me as if I was loosing my mind. "Honestly, what are you on about?"

I sigh loudly before running a hand over my face in annoyance. "Nothing's happened with them Ragnor... it's just that... I am just... look, okay-"

"Spit it out dear, we haven't got all day."

"I'm the problem!" I exclaim loudly, once again earning me glares from the old women, it also makes Ragnor and Cat jump in their seats. I send the old women an annoyed glare back.

"Raph!" Catarina snaps, sounding slightly breathless. She then sends a quick apology to the women, who seem to have had enough now as they are getting up to leave.

"Raphael, my boy, you are making no sense." Ragnor seems to have forgotten about his tea. His interest in my behaviour has taken priority now.

"Okay. Look... Magnus and Alec are perfectly happy right now, but I'm not." I say quickly before looking down at my hands, which are now resting on the table. "I'm still not over how I reacted during the whole Camille thing," I say sheepishly. "The way I reacted with Magnus was just horrible. I know Magnus and I know he would never do that to someone, especially Alec. I have know him for so long and he's never been the way he is with Alec, with anyone else and I'm so happy for him now that he has that kind of love in his life now. But-,I stop to take a deep breath, "-I just can't forgive myself for how I acted with him."

I am met with silence.

Both of them are glancing from me to each other. Looks of astonishment on their faces.

"Raph-," Catarina finally speaks after a long while of silence, "-you know Magnus doesn't blame you for how you acted, and he also isn't angry at you." She says this as if she knows exactly that, but there is no way she could know for sure .

"But how do you know that!" I exclaim loudly again. "You know what Magnus can be like sometimes with his feelings, he is amazing at hiding them when he needs to." I point out. "He might not want me to know how angry he is at me."

"Not with you Raphael." Ragnor says plainly, like it's super obvious.

"Ragnor's right, Raphael. Magnus has never hid things like this from you, ever." She reaches over to grasp my hands tightly. "If he had a problem with how you handled things, he would've spoken to you by now and you know that he would."

"I've never done something like this before Cat." I say, and I find that I sound so sad. I don't like it, I hate feeling weak around other people. No one has ever seen me like this, not even Simon. He is one person that I for sure won't allow to see me weak.

"That doesn't matter. You are like his brother. You have helped him through almost every single low point in his life. Been there with him through every single heart break, and cheered him up in the way only you could manage. You were there when he was bullied in high school, no matter how it effected the friendships you made with the "tough lot" at the school. You have always been there for him, for years. Nothing that Camille Belcourt could think of, could ever break that bond you have with Magnus."

I stare at Ragnor in shock.

I had never heard him speak like that before. It was slightly shocking to hear that he had paid so much attention to my life and actually knows all the stories Magnus had told him about. I never thought he was ever that interested when Magnus spoke about a memory in our past.

"Honey, I think you need to have a chat with Magnus." Cat strokes a finger across the back of my hand. "We can only say so much, but when it comes down to it, the only thing that is going to make you feel better is talking to him yourself." She smiles at me.

"You're right... I know I have to talk to him but- I just hate it..." This makes them both laugh.

"We know it does Raphael, that's why we are going to go now, whilst you still have the guts." Cat takes out her purse, takes out some money then places it down onto the table. "C'mon I got this covered, let's go." She takes a grip on my shoulder and almost hauls me out of my chair.

On our way out, she sends a smile at the waitress as if apologising for the loudness of our conversation. The waitress only smiles back and tells us to have a good day.

Cat lets me go when we get outside. Obviously trusting me to not go running off in the other direction.

The thought of running off brings something else to mind.

Maybe we should go in another direction first. There's something I need to do.

I hadn't noticed until now that I wanted to do it more than anything else in the world.

"Guys- wait!" I call after Ragnor and Catarina, who had already started walking away from Taki's in order to reach the loft.

Ragnor turns to look at me, his face shows that he obviously expected me to be walking behind him.

He stops and stares at me, disapprovingly. "No, Raphael. You are going to do this before you start feeling any worse." Ragnor takes a step towards me, looking like he was about to drag me to the loft himself.

"I know Rags!" I hold out my hands so he would stop coming towards me. "I want to talk to him...but-"

"But what Raph?" Cat interrupts me.

"Let me talk and you'll find out," I snap at her. I really hated being interrupted.

"Okay, okay. Go on Raph." She comes over and puts a hand on my arm softly. "What is it?"

I look between the both of them, a small smile growing on my face as I take a couple of steps backwards.

"I want to talk to Magnus, but there is something I have to do first." They look at each other with matching looks of confusion.

"Can't it wait?" Ragnor asks.

I shake my head firmly. "No. I don't want to wait another second longer." and with that, I set off.

Each one of my steps filled with an important purpose.

I know how to make Simon move in with me. A single piece of metal that will help open the door into the next stage of our relationship.

TBC...


	2. Part 2

**Ready**

**Raphael:**

It feels like hours have passed since the conversation at Taki's, when really it's only been about forty minutes.

It didn't take me as long as I thought to get what I needed for Simon, it took only minutes and it was worth every penny if it had the possibility to make Simon happy. I even bought a safe and classic little box to keep it in.

I made Catarina and Ragnor wait outside whilst I asked the man to shape it for me, using my own as an example for him. I admit that I did pay him a little extra to have it done by today, as I was feeling a little impatient and I didn't want Simon to leave tonight. I might even ask Alec if it were possible to give Simon the day off work tomorrow. Just so I could spend some more time with him.

That was a conversation I could leave until later. After I have a talk with Magnus and after the dinner I just invited everyone too.

I decided on the dinner because if I planned anything special to ask him, he would know something was up, and what I wanted more than anything, is to surprise him. He would also know that something is up when there wasn't at least one of our friends in the loft, not including Alec and Magnus.

I had planned everything out, to the last detail.

Everything was carefully organized so it all went perfectly.

Stage one was conquering my talk with Magnus. Hopefully what Cat and Ragnor said was true, and that Magnus isn't that mad at me. I really needed him today, especially when I might potentially take a big step in my relationship.

I will never admit it out loud, but I will need him if this all goes wrong. He will never find out that I even thought that because I know I would be in for a world of teasing and that's something I don't need right now.

Speaking of right now.

I am currently standing at the door to the loft. The sound of music playing loudly through speakers, can be heard from outside the door. It's obviously Magnus's turn to choose because I know that Alec would never voluntarily listen to this on his own.

I can hear Magnus's laughter floating over the music, which is good news for me. Perhaps this will be easier if he is in a good mood.

I better get this over with now then.

I suck in a breath before pushing open the door. God I'm glad that they're in. I was in such a hurry to avoid Magnus this morning, that I actually forgot my key at home.

"Hey Raph, where have you been all day?" Alec asks. He is setting up more chairs around the dinner table, in preparations for everyone coming around. Usually we just sat around the TV, but it was easier to eat at the table when everyone was here.

Before I could answer him, a solid weight hits me from the side and my arms are suddenly filled with another person. I tense suddenly as I didn't know who it was.

"Raph! I missed you." My body relaxes instantly at the familiar voice. Simon.

"I thought you still had to work until later." I say, one of my arms coming up to wrap around his back, the other hand slipping into my pocket to curl around the thing currently sitting in my pocket.

"Well, hello to you too lover." Simon pulls back to pout. "To think that I left early just to see you... Alec did the same and he got a kiss and a proper hello, what to I get?" Simon sighs then glances over at Magnus who was grinning as he worked away in the kitchen. "I'm beginning to think I picked the wrong Man in this room...fancy swapping Alec?" Simon jokes.

"Hah," Alec scoffs then looks up from what he is doing to smile at Magnus, "you wish Lewis." Magnus looks up at that and then proceeds to wink at Alec when he sees him staring.

I shake my head at their antics before leaning forward to kiss the side of Simon's jaw. "Hello baby, I'm sorry- I was just surprised to see you that's all." I pull my hand back out from my pocket so I could use it to turn Simon's face to look at me. "I missed you too and I'm happy you're here."

Simon beams at me.

"I knew you couldn't resist me... Alec, I don't want to swap anymore, sorry." Simon calls over his shoulder.

"Oh, how my heart breaks." Alec deadpans.

Simon and I both ignore him.

"So... do I get my hello kiss yet?" Simon asks, one eyebrow rising.

I grin before leaning toward him again, Simon moves forward to meet me.

However, at the last moment I move my head to the side so my lips are next to his ear.

"I don't think you deserve it." I kiss the shell of his ear softly, "teasing poor Alec like that." My smirk widens when I hear the small whine Simon lets out.

"Raph, please... I missed you today." Simon pleads.

"You saw me this morning." I say to him as I pull back to look him in the eye again.

"Hardly. I don't think a mumbled goodbye and a kiss to the cheek counts as seeing you." Simon leans his forehead against mine.

My heart soars slightly when I hear that tone of voice he has. I know now that he is frustrated with our morning arrangements as I am. I smile as I think of what could possibly happen, that tonight might be the last time we have to worry about this.

Simon moves back to look at me. His eyes narrowing as he tries to read my face.

"What's got you so deep in thought? and why are you staring at me?" He asks, his hands coming to rest on my neck.

The only answer I give him is a gentle kiss to his lips.

It's quick and it's chaste, but it's also oh so perfect and just what I needed.

Once I pull back, I smile at him. "I love you." I state.

The look on his face makes it seem like I had never said that to him before, but really I have said it to him hundreds of times. I guess I know that this is something special when I can make every time I say it, seem like the first time all over again.

"I love you too Raph, what's up with you lately?" Simon lets go of me so he could undo the buttons on my jacket. I panic slightly when I remember the box sitting in my pocket.

Before Simon could pull the jacket from my shoulders, I jerk back from him, eyes wide and nervous.

"Hey, woah? you okay?" Simon looks at the other two occupants in the room.

They are both in the kitchen now, they are also both staring at me like I was insane.

"Magnus." I say without really thinking about it.

The man himself looks at me, one eyebrow raised in question. "May I help you?" He asks before looking incredulously at Simon as if begging him to make me behave.

"I need to t-talk you...now." Magnus looks around the kitchen at the various things cooking. "Please, it's important." I can tell that he doesn't want to leave the food alone, especially when we know he is the best cook in the loft and that if Isabelle turns up, none of them have the willpower to say no when she offers to help cook.

"Go Magnus, I'll watch over the food." Alec promises before giving a squeeze to his boyfriends hand. Magnus looks up at Alec before motioning for me to follow him to his room.

"I'll be right back." I say half-heartedly to Simon who looks a little hurt at my treatment. I hate seeing that look on his face, especially when I know what might happen later on. Hopefully he will be happy after that.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
We had been sitting in Magnus's room for no more than two minutes before I started pacing.

I had no idea how to start talking to him. How to bring this up without bringing up any bad memories he had. I didn't want to mention how I almost felt betrayed when I thought he had cheated on Alec, because of what happened with him as a child. I didn't ever want to bring that up around him.

I would rather jump in front of a bus. I know how much it hurts him to talk about and that he still has nightmares from time to time. I know he hasn't even spoken to Alec about those yet. I know this because whenever he has one, he still comes to me to calm down.

"Raphael, can you please just tell me what's bothering you." Magnus moves back on his bed until he is resting against the headboard. His eyes follow me as I continue to pace back and forth across his room.

I can't seem to get my head straight. All these emotions are coursing through me and I'm not exactly used to it so I don't know what to do with them yet.

I feel so much guilt about how I reacted with Magnus when I should have been there when my brother needed me. The guilt is matched by the love and excitement that I am feeling for Simon at the moment.

I can't seem to sort out what to say first or what I was supposed to feel when I said it. I didn't want to apologise and have it sound wrong and like I didn't mean it, only because I was too excited for the events later on tonight.

"Raph!" Magnus seems to be getting annoyed now, and he has every right to be. I pulled him away from some time with his boyfriend who had specifically took time off work to come see him.

"Sorry." I say before stopping and turning to face him properly.

"It's alright. Just tell me what the problem is and-"

I cut him off. "No." I state which brings him up short. He stares at me like I had grown a second head.

"No?" He asks after a moment. I can literally see him trying to wrap his head around this whole situation.

"The problem is that I am sorry. I am trying to tell you that I'm sorry." I say quickly, I notice a strange look in his eye so before I could face whatever rejection he may have planned, I move on. "I know you have no right to forgive me and what I did, but I want you to know that I am sorry and that it will never ever happen again. You and me now okay? I won't do it again." I say then I stay quiet, ready to hear any abuse he may send my way.

"Raphael...I've known you for years,-" Magnus starts and I can already feel the crushing weight of the words that are probably going to come next, "-and I'm used to your...strange and mysterious ways, and I get them, but." He stops which makes me look up. This was not where I was expecting the conversation to go. Why hadn't he said anything mean yet? "I have no bloody idea what you are on about darling." He sits up on the bed so he can move closer to me. "I can see that whatever you are on about is clearly upsetting you so I'm here to listen." Magnus takes one of my hands and squeezes.

I stare at him.

How could he not know what I meant? it was so obvious. Is he just trying to trick me into thinking it's okay? is he doing what I thought he would do, hiding his feelings from me?

"What do you mean 'you don't know' Magnus?" I ask breathlessly.

"I mean that you are apologising for some big thing you done and I have no idea what it is, so I'm waiting patiently for you to be ready to tell-"

"I'm talking about Camille!" I bust out, making him flinch back. His eyes widen at the name.

"What the hell do you mean? have you done something with Camille? did you do something to hurt Simon?" Magnus's eyes darken as a thought goes through his head. "Did she say something to hurt you?" he growls.

I'm in shock. How in the hell is he no getting what I mean! Dios! I thought it would've been obvious the soon as I said her name.

"Simon is fine... Camille has done nothing to either of us. I'm apologising for what I did to you when he lied to Alec." I say and FINALLY I can see understanding in Magnus's eyes.

He finally knows why I am apologising.

Now it's time for him to be angry.

"Oh, that." Magnus stops for a moment then looks up to meet my eye. "Has that really been bothering you?" He asks.

"Of course it's been bothering me Magnus! I said some awful things to you when I should've listened to you first." I say before walking around to join him on the bed. "You are basically my brother and I should've listened to what you had to say, instead of being to ready to drop you like a hot potato." I can physically feel the guilt in my voice and I'm pretty sure Magnus can too.

Magnus hadn't let go of my hand since taking them, but no he holds it just that little tighter.

"Raphael. You must know that I wouldn't blame you for reacting like that... I would react like that myself if I knew I had done something that bad to Alexander." Magnus shakes my hand slightly, trying to make the point clear. "You know what Alec has been through and you know what it can do to people, you saw it all with me." Magnus takes a deep breath. "I know you wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially someone who makes me happy, because despite the things you say sometimes, I know how much you care for me. So in turn you care about Alexander." Magnus smiles slightly.

"Not that much," I mumble under my breath, making him laugh.

"But you do, and I know it. Alexander knows it, in fact I'm pretty sure every single person we know, knows it." Magnus throws about his free hand flamboyantly. It's a move that's so Magnus, which makes it comforting, when it really shouldn't because I am living in constant fear of getting hit by his ring clad finger.

Magnus's words make me feel slightly better, even though I think I'll still be guilty for a while.

"You okay now?" Magnus asks then fiddles with the jacket that I still had on.

"Yeah, I mean I'm still sorry and I promise to make it up to you at some point, but for now... I think I'm going to be okay." A small smile grows on my face. I feel so much lighter now that this whole conversation is off my chest.

Although, as soon as he nerves from this were gone, they were soon replaced with nerves about Simon.

"I get that but-" Magnus stops suddenly.

I look at his face to see that he is staring down where his hand is resting on my jacket...pocket.

I freeze slightly before looking down to see that Magnus had found the box in my pocket and had opened it up.

"Raph-" He stops again, mid word, to look at me.

"I know I should've told you firs, but-" Magnus holds up a hand.

"No! no need darling. You have already found a way to make it up to me." Magnus looks delighted all of a sudden. " Looks like I get to redecorate the house for another person living here." Magnus looks back down at the small box again then back up to me with a large grin on his face. I find myself inwardly groaning because I know his re decorating will leave all of the heavy lifting to Alec and I.

"Great," I say in a wobbly and unsure sort of voice.

"When did you get it?" Magnus asks.

"Today, I used mine to mould it into the right shape. It was expensive, but I think it will be worth it, if it means he will be here with me now, god his flat is so far away." I run a hand through my hair. "Do you think it's a good idea?" I ask Magnus suddenly.

He lays back on the bed.

"You'll never know until you try." Magnus smiles wistfully. "If he agrees then it's amazing, but if he's not read for that step, then you will continue on the way you are, this is not something you will break up over." Magnus grips my hand tighter again.

"I'm going to ask at dinner. I want it to be really surprising, so I think it would be best to throw him off the scent by being with all of our friends...what do you think?" I ask him.

I turn to look at him to see he has a proud look on his face.

"I think that's a wonderful idea Raph, and I will help you in any way you need." Magnus promises.

I shake my head at that.

"No, this is something I have to do on my own." I say.

"Of course, I completely understand. But if need be, I will be there to support you, no matter what the end result might be."

I turn to look at him properly. I have never been so thankful to have someone in my life, than right now. Everything Catarina and Ragnor said, now make sense. No matter what may or may not happen with Simon, I was always going to have Magnus in my life, and it was more than a grumpy, anti-social guy like me, deserved.

"Thank you Magnus, for everything." I say. It takes a lot from me to be so open and I think Magnus knows that because he doesn't push me on it.

"I'll always be around Raph, don't you think otherwise." He jokes then relaxes more against the bed.

I trust him on his word.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dinner started as soon as everyone arrived. Clary and Jace were a little late so we needed to eat straight away or the food would've become cold.

Magnus had been the one to cook so it was a grand affair, just like everything was with him.

The food was grand and very over the top for just a friendly dinner. Part of me thinks that he went just a little extra after finding out what I wanted to do tonight. The subtle looks he gave me over the food, were enough to give him away.

I was glad that Magnus knew, and that Catarina and Ragnor had some sort of idea. Whenever Magnus saw me getting too into my thoughts about whether this was a good idea or not, he would kick me under the table then give me a reassuring smile.

"Raph, you've been quiet tonight." Lydia comments from further up the table. I look up to see her using one hand to put a piece of food in her mouth, and the other was being used to remove the wine out of the reach of Isabelle and Jace. I silently thank her for moving it, even though she didn't know, I didn't want anyone to be drunk on Simon's night. If this all went to plan, I wanted it to be special for him. So have two drunks at the table would probably steal his thunder.

"Aren't I always?" I ask her once I realized I hadn't said anything for a moment. My comment makes a couple people laugh, only the ones that were paying attention to us, or were sat close enough to hear.

I feel Simon link his fingers through mine, under the table.

"Yes, but something is different tonight." She looks at me a little harder. And even though I knew it to be impossible, I felt like she could see right through the table and into my pocket, where I was currently hiding the box. "I can't quite put my finger on it." She muses.

"God Lyd's, give the guy a break." Isabelle jokes at she weakly tries to take the wine back from her girlfriend, with no luck as Lydia had already began handing it to Alec, who was always the "designated driver" if you will.

"I agree with Lydia." Jace comments as he reaches over the table to grab at Clary's drink. The girl didn't drink much so she still had half of her first glass of wine. Clary slaps his hand away and glares at him to warn him off trying again.

"See, I'm not the only one who noticed!" Lydia sends a triumphant smile at Isabelle.

Isabelle just scoffs. "Please, he's just trying to get on your good side so you'll bring back the wine." Isabelle flips her hair over her shoulder. "But-" she looks at me, "-I do have to admit that you are being awfully quiet today Raph, are you okay? has something happened?" She asks and I suddenly feel Simon's hand tighten.

"Did everything go okay with your talk with Magnus?" Simon asks me quietly, privately, hoping that no one would hear. But being at a crowded table, there was not much room for privacy, so someone definitely heard us.

"Wait! What's wrong with you and Magnus?" Clary asks, her face filled with worry.

I turn to look at her. "There's nothing wrong-"

"Does this have to do with what we said today?" Ragnor cuts me off suddenly.

"We didn't mean to make things worse, we just thought that-"

"Hey, woah. Make what things worse, what did they say Raph? I thought you told me everything?" Magnus looks a mixture between annoyed and angry.

I remove my hand from Simon's so I could hold them up to show that I meant no harm and nothing was wrong. God why was everything spiralling out of control all of a sudden?

"We mentioned that he should just suck it up and ask Simon to move in because the boy practically lives here anyway-"

"Ragnor!" Cat slaps Ragnor over the arm, a silent way of telling him to shut up.

"My god, why did you do that? I was just telling the truth finally! It doesn't matter if I say it now does it? we both know that he was going to ask him tonight anyway, we were there when he got his key cut for him."

"Ragnor! That's it! no more alcohol for you...ever. And I want you to apologise to-"

"You were going to ask me to move in?" Simon asks me, softly.

I close my eyes. This is not how I wanted this to go. Nothing was going to my plan, and it was all so organized before.

"Baby, look at me- please?" Simon places a hand on the back of my neck.

I feel nerves seeping into my bones now, I guess it is now or never-

"Wait a second." Alec suddenly pipes into the conversation. I open my eyes to look at him, trying hard not to meet Simon's eyes as I do so. "This doesn't make any sense." He looks between Ragnor, Catarina, and I before looking over at the small table beside the door. The place where we keep our keys and other such stuff. "How could Raphael get a key cut when he left his key here all day?" He asks, and is met with silence.

Almost everyone turns to look at me now, hoping for some explanation to this story.

Magnus was the only one who knew, and was looking at me sadly. He knew that this is obviously not the kind of way I wanted to ask Simon. Maybe I should just wait for another time... but then again, I don't know how I will get myself out of this without giving myself away.

"Raph, please tell me what's going on." Simon pleads, worry evident in his voice.

I hate how worried he sounds. I turn to finally meet his gaze.

"I wasn't going to ask you to move in here." I say finally.

I'm horrified to see a flash of hurt cross his face, and it was only then did I notice that before I spoke, there was the look of pure joy and hope in his eye.

"Oh... okay, tha-that's fine, okay I-" Simon's voice breaks before he cuts himself off, tears building in his eyes. There's an uncomfortable silence around the table as everyone watches the scene unfold.

I break slightly when I see the first tear roll down his cheek, he is quick to turn away from me and rub away the tear.

A sudden kick to my shin makes me jerk back into reality. I spare a glance at Magnus who is staring at me with wide eyes and I know he is edging me to just do it.

"However, I was going to ask you something else..." I say, making him look at me again.

I take his hand in mine softly, stroking my thumb across it gently.

"-This is obviously not the right way I wanted to do it, or the right atmosphere. I wanted it to be special for you because it's what you deserve, especially for keeping up with someone like me." I say with a small laugh.

"But now that it comes down to it, I feel like any situation, in any kind of environment... any moment I spend with you is one of the specialist things life could give me. So being here with you, surrounded by our family in OUR home... there's no other way I would've wished to have done this."

Simon's eyes are wide and confused, tears are still in his eyes but I don't think they are for the same reason as they were before.

I smile softly at him before letting his hand go so I could reach into my pocket to pull out the box that could possibly hold my entire future inside.

I know Simon has connected the dots, the shaky intake of breath informs me that he knows what is about to happen.

"I love you Simon." I state before pushing my chair back, allowing me to get on my knees. Simon lets out the breath he had been holding, then as if it were anchoring him, he grips onto the sleeve of my shirt.

"I love you more than anything I have ever loved. And you are the only person I have loved this way, and it will always only be you... because you literally complete me down to the very last cell in my body. The idea of losing you is literally too painful for me to even consider." Simon grips my shirt tighter.

"That's why I'm here now, on my knees in designer trousers, probably looking like a fool-" I feel like I see the flicker of a smile on his face. "-asking you if you love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me." Fresh tears roll down Simon's cheeks as I open the box to reveal the exact copy of my family's ring, placed delicately on a suede pillow. "Simon-" my voice breaks as I try to get the question out, "-Simon Lewis, I want to spend the rest of my eternity with you." I state before scooting a little closer to him. "I love you and I would like to know if you would... Marry me?"

A tense silence follows my question. Everybody too afraid to move as they wait for an answer.

My nerves are going haywire as I wait for the life changing answer to my question. No matter what Simon says, this is going to change us forever. I just hope if it's a no, we can still go on like we did before.

A watery gasp from someone in the room brings me back to reality.

I look over Simon's face, noticing that it was different than it was a moment ago. He was looking at me expectantly, a small smile on his face.

"What?" I ask, I obviously missed something.

Simon laughs loudly before leaning down to take my face in his hands. "I said yes! you idiot" He is smiling brightly but there are still tears in his eyes.

"You did?" I ask, it doesn't sound right for a moment. My brain wasn't connecting to his words for a second, but when they do, a smile blooms on my face.

"I did Raph, I said yes." Simon laughs though his tears, making it sound watery.

"Oh my god...we're engaged...You said yes!" I'm suddenly standing, holding Simon to me as tightly as possible.

People are standing and cheering congratulations at us, but the only thing I can focus on is Simon.

"Of course I said yes you dolt, I love you." Simon presses a kiss to my lips quickly before pulling back. "So fiancée...do I ever get my ring, or was it just a prop?" He grins.

I completely forgot about the ring in the excitement of Simon's answer.

I pull the hand holding the box, out from behind his neck. Simon's smile grows as he holds up his right hand. I pick the ring out of the box, then with a great deal of affection for the man in front of me, I slide the ring onto his finger.

"Raph-" Simon's words get stuck again. I press a kiss to the ring on his finger as he figures out what he was trying to say. "You're family ring?" He manages to gasp out.

"Of course mi Amor, you expected something else?" I ask him softly.

I'm beginning to feel aware of the other people in the room, who are just bursting to come up and talk to us.

"I just-" I cut him off with a kiss, I just knew he was going to put himself down and I wouldn't have it.

"I told you how long this ring has been in my family, every man has given it to the one they believed to be the love of their life. Sometimes it ended up that their betrothed didn't receive the ring, as they were not to be believed as the true recipient of such a ring...but I knew that it was yours, from the moment I met you, no doubt about it." I kiss him again.

Simon is the one to pull away again. "But... where is yours? the original one?" Simon asks.

I hold up my hand to show it sitting on my left middle finger. Simon stares at it for a moment before tutting, he then reaches over to pull the ring off of my middle finger. He then slips it onto my left ring finger. "There, now this is real." Simon states, then before I even had time to answer, he is kissing me again. His hand moves to grab mine and I'm slightly aware of the sound of our rings clanking together.

A small laugh makes me pull back from Simon.

I finally turn to address the people sitting at the table. Magnus is clutching Alec and crying as his head rests on his shoulder. He looks proud.

"So..." Ragnor says, conversationally. "Do you think he'll be moving in?" He asks and it breaks the silence at the table.

People are suddenly coming up and hugging us both tightly. Clary all but smothers Simon in a hug, crying about how her best friend is all grown up. Isabelle and Jace are next to talk to him, whilst Magnus throws himself at me in a hug.

"Oh Raphael, who would've thought we would see the day." Magnus lets me go from the hug but he doesn't move his hands from my arms. "I can't wait to hear Mama when she hears about this, she loves Simon more than us sometimes." Magnus jokes and it makes me smile.

"Yeah, Mama will be happy that I finally made a move...but I think she'll be a little annoyed at us if she finds out that she wasn't here for this." I say then two arms are wrapping around my waist.

"Please, once I tell Mama that this was your doing, I will be showered with treats." I clutch at Simon's hand again.

"Lucky for you then, I managed to video the whole thing." Magnus admits then leans his weight against Alec, who had (like Simon) came up behind him.

"You did? thank you Magnus... this is something I would like to live again." Simon kisses my cheek. "It's not everyday that I receive such love from my betrothed." My heart soars to hear him call me that.

"Your fiancée can be an idiot sometimes, are you sure you want to do this?" Ragnor comes over to us. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Simon turns to look at me, one hand coming to play with the hairs at the bottom of my neck. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life," Simon continues to look into my eyes as he speaks.

"I love you." I whisper privately to him.

He kisses me once, softly.

"I love you too," He replies then buries his face in my neck, pulling himself around until I can hold him properly.

I am aware of the others retiring into the living-room to give us some privacy.

I was glad for it.

As much as I love them, I loved Simon more and right now the only person I wanted to be with, was him.

It would always be him.


End file.
